The Many Paths of Emotion
by Lora Helen
Summary: When everything is said and done, is it right to simply say goodbye to something you've become so used to even when the something is only a feeling. Is duty more important than what you really want? Should you listen to your heart or your head? ShonenAi


_This is Fanfiction that I almost certainly shouldn't be writing. My plan was to get all of the ones I had started up to scratch and finished with, but then this happened, one of those, sudden ideas things. It's nothing amazingly original, but it's something akin to a more up-to-date version of my old story, Save me, a different look at the circumstances which started that fic for me back then! ^_^_

_Obviously, disclaimer, characters not mine, non-profit, story is mine, no stealy, the usual, you know how it goes. No this is not entirely accurate to the books, yes it is my interpretation so no prodding the author if it's not exactly what you like~_

_Anyway! Here we go, I hope it's worth the time you spend reading it~!_

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**The Many Paths of Emotion**

**Chapter one - The Path of Conviction.**

The day had dawned fairly bright, but grey. It was still morning, and early morning at that. At this point Aragorn could not help but conclude that there was still the potential opportunity for the day to come truly alive and awaken into sunshine and birdsong, but he would not hold his breath. It was not a truly warm morning, though there were noticeably few of them these days. Summer had slipped away from them after a season of bright sunny glory and the air was slightly chill now as it brushed over the human's uncovered arms.

Was this really how everything was going to end? Legolas had not even met his eye for the past two days, so he could only imagine that that was exactly what the blonde haired prince had resigned himself to enduring. That he had concluded that this would be the end of the days of the fellowship, and their companionship.

The man destined to be the King of men was dressed simply today. Warmly woven black trousers hugged his hips while his strong chest was clad in a simple tunic top fashioned of heavy brown fabric, it was designed to be worn over a thin shirt, but for now his arms were bare, it had not been long since he had arisen from his night's sleep, he had pulled on his boots as he had intended to step outside and walk until sunrise, but he had paused, he suddenly felt no desire to be outside.

For the moment they were residing in Rivendell. It had been a peaceful interlude after what hadn't been, but certainly felt like a life of suffering and hardship. The Elven home was truly beautiful, even in autumn there were flowers blooming, and the golden tint to the leaves if possible made everything even more majestic and elegant. The season where nature was bedecked out in the colours of royalty was setting in well and truly, if he didn't leave soon it would be Winter once again before he could make his way to Gondor... he had delayed his departure by quite a number of days already, the bubbling feelings of uncertainty that he would never have admitted to would soon have to be ignored, he would be leaving today, and behind him he would leave a different life, a great many people that he was uncertain if he would ever really find the time to see again, and of course a whole messy tangle of emotions. They had once seemed so smooth, so sensible and as if they made sense, but now the path through them was as elusive as they steps that took your through the swamps to Mordor. He was certain for one that he could make little to no sense out of them himself, if he could, well, they wouldn't be parting company in such a strained manner, would they?

Together with their friends they had faced hell, and they were still here, still standing proud, there had been losses, of course there had, but they had bourn them, and continued to fight in the honour of their lost companions, and in the belief that it would be seeing out the wishes they had had when they stilled lived and breathed on Middle Earth. They had walked through fire; they had challenged their enemies without hesitation, facing up more than once against insurmountable odds. After everything they'd been through, every trial, tribulation, loss and victory... after all of the fighting, after clinging on to life, to existence with tooth and nail, were they really about to simply let go of everything and go their separate ways? The longer the long lived man stood and thought about it, the more it seemed like such a stupid notion, but honestly it wasn't a one sided abandonment of feelings on the part of the elven prince. He was just as much to blame himself, and he could hold no resentment for the man he was soon to walk away from, and be left by in return.

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There had ever seemed to be something between them, they could smile together, they could laugh, hours could be passed in absent conversation of thoughts and opinions of all things pertaining to their world. They both had a deep appreciation for the gifts and beauty of nature, and they seemed at ease in each other's company. It had been a closeness that he hadn't really noticed forming, but whenever they were apart he could sense that he actually missed the blonde haired prince, he enjoyed his company, of course he did, and while they had travelled together it had certainly not felt as if it would ever have a cause to come to an end.

Had they ever really expected to succeed anyway? He had privately thought that probably, they were probably going fail, probably going die, probably going to lose all hope and succumb to despair... they had taken solace in the closeness they had been able to find in one another's company, and somewhere along the lines, somewhere within him, in his heart, he had given himself over to feelings which were not merely those of closeness to a friend, but a longing for something more.

That something more had never been tangible, but he had felt, possibly hoped, but he believed it had not been delusion, that the feelings were returned by the man he spent so many evenings sitting close. A look with heightened intensity spoke of deep emotion, a touch to a hand drawn out by a mere second or two spoke of a longing, a want for contact. A choice to stand close spoke of trust, of belief in each other. A smile had spoken of fondness, of care, of pleasure in company. He had seen so much in how they were together, and he had truly believed that Legolas had seen the same manner of feelings, had read the same signs in their behaviours... he believed that, he still did, which is why it was so very hard to accept that everything between them being brought to such an empty end. It wasn't merely anticlimactic... it was sad. There had always been so much potential for them to be something special... something pure, something good. Yet both of them were allowing everything to slip away, as much as he would have liked to blame the blonde elf, he knew he was just as much to blame.

"You are thinking again, Aragorn... you think a good deal these days..."

"Arwen..." Aragorn turned on the spot, looking down the corridor from where he still stood, static in the doorway, half inside, indecisive. "I did not hear you approach."

"I moved with quiet steps, I had thought to avoid disturbing you, but you looked so very low in spirits that I could not walk on without speaking..." Her elegant face was creased with worry, her full lips were turned down in a slight frown as she stepped towards the dark haired man, her hand lifting to brush against his cheek, her pale skin so starkly different to his own dark tan. "Why do you torment yourself...?"

"There is no torment in my heart Arwen." He lifted a hand to catch her hand, his larger fingers curling around her long, graceful ones. "We have found peace for Middle Earth once again, there can be no grief within me..." He lifted his eyes to her face, a look of confusion touching his moment later. "You are smiling, why is that? I did not think my speech especially touched with humour..."

"You are a poor liar, Aragorn, and you have trusted me too well in the past for you to be able to keep your thoughts hidden from me now... I say now as I did some days ago, you should speak with him, seek some resolution in what time is left to you both. I would be purest folly to ignore your imploring heart..." She lifted her other hand to rest over his, the expression of worry on her face deepening. "You should keep to the truth when you speak, you are far better with it, and you should also be true to who you are." A slightly saddened smile touched her lips as she looked up at him, he was such a foolish man still, for all that he was long lived. You could never fully change the foolish heart of a human man.

"Arwen I am as true to myself as I have ever been." He stated, why did she speak to him of truth as if he were a child? "I know of where y life is intending I go, I know what my future is to be... a King, Arwen, a King of men. How will I ever find hours in a day, or days in a month to maintain a friendship with someone who may yet leave these shores anyway..." His tone had flickered to something slight bitter, edged with regret. He kept his eyes on the dark haired woman before him however. "He will not stay by my side, Arwen, and even should he see it in his future to do so, I could not ask it of him, just as I would not ask it of you..." He let his eyes fall, but moments later her hand finding his cheek once again had lifted them up.

"I would never make you ask..."

"I know you would not."

"But I still say you should speak with him, I could not bear to think that you will give up all you wish for a life of mere acceptance..." She would not wish to live like that.

"You are more than merely acceptable Arwen." She laughed at him then, it was a happy sound and once again she brought a confused look to his face. "Now you laugh at me? Do you mock me...?"

"I do not... I do not mock you..." She was still smiling. "I thank you for deeming me more than acceptable, but you do not need to hide what you feel, I am no fool Aragorn, and I would not be treated as one." She was sensible after all, she was pragmatic, and just because the future dictated something should be, it did not mean that future was easy. She knew hers would not be bliss and romantic happiness, but she also knew she loved the man she spoke with just now, and would have him happy, rather than chained to her side. He did love her, that she could tell, but his heart was not hers alone. He was not one of her kind though, his heart had the freedom of a human to be given to whoever he wished, whenever, and as often as he wished... she did have his affection, she did have his care, but there would be nothing she could ever do with a clear conscious to take his affection all for herself, not least of all because it was a friend she was destined to share it with, she could not blame them after all, their connection had been forced through terrible hardship, and who was she to deny anyone something which aided them in a time of need?

"I know how you feel this day, I know your heart is divided and conflicted, at odds with your mind, and so I come to you now, to let you know that I would not wish you to cause yourself any pain by trying to undo what is already in place." She lifted her hand away from his, brushing her hair back from his face. "You will have me by your side no matter what you do, but I wish you would listen to your heart... I will leave you to your thoughts however, now I have made known to you my own thoughts on this matter." She leant up on her toes, brushing a very gentle kiss to the future king's rough cheek. "Speak with Legolas, my dear one... you be sure to make whatever this thing that is wrong between you right once again." She took her leave then and Aragorn was left to stand on his own in the doorway once again, still looking out on the day which had not seemed to brighten considerably in the time he had been awake.

He shook his head, lifting his hand to run his fingers back through his wavy brown hair, pushing the dark strands back out of his face. Of course they tumbled almost straight back to where they had been before, but it gave him something to do with his hands while he stood there. He didn't know exactly what he wished to do. His mind was conflicted, it was a muddle... part of him could only admit that Arwen was right, that she had seen his thoughts and feelings and had said he should do the exact thing which he was wanting, deeply, deeply wanting to do. Go and speak with Legolas, give voice to the thoughts and feelings he had allowed to grow recently, ask him how he felt, finally discover if all of the meanings he had read in their shared actions were real rather than a series of misconceptions on his part, but another part of him told him that that was wrong, that he should not do that at all.

He had a course to follow, a way in which he knew he had to live his life. He was to marry, and marry a beautiful woman; the same beautiful woman who had been giving him council so recently... and he cared for her. She was beautiful, and he did love her, he found her sweet natured and gentle, a lovely soul and one which he could quite easily see him spending his life in quiet contentment with. That was what he was supposed to do, that was what was required of him, and he had vowed that he would live his life as he should. He had had years of freedom, years of wandering and living as he wanted to from day to day to day, now he had a follow a duty, he had to maintain the conviction he had formed so long ago... he was a King, that was a duty which he had been willing to take on, and to back out now would be cowardly. He had no right to do so, and he had no reason at all to make such a kind hearted woman unhappy, as he knew he would were he to do as she said.

Duty and conviction aside, he was certain that the Prince of Mirkwood had never held any desire for whatever the strange tensions between them were to grow into anything more tangible. They had both been content with the quiet looks and touches, there could have been no want for any more... he himself had never expected anything of it, and he could only think that Legolas must have felt the same way. He knew nothing more could come of them, and if the elf had wanted more he would have said, they were not coy after all, they had no reason to hold back. It was a simple matter of sense. They had had their time... they had had their closeness, now... now the aspects of a responsible life had to come into play. He had a kingdom to focus on, and Legolas would leave.

That did not mean however that things should be left as they currently were, they should not part ways under the veil of their current discomfort, they should leave this place as friends, so that their memories of one another could be cherished, happy, and fond, rather than a source of pain or discomfort... he should speak with Legolas as soon as he could... this was the last chance he would have, after all, unless he found a reason to come to Gondor. Aragorn thought that a highly unlikely chance however, it was certainly not one he would hold his breath while waiting for.

Just for the moment however he had very little notion of where the elf might be, and there was no sense in looking really, however he was certain he'd end up bumping into him later... they usually crossed paths at least once, even the last two days he had seen the blonde, even if his presence had not been acknowledged.

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Aragorn was not wrong in his confidence that he would see Legolas at least once during the day, it was a little after noon when he did finally run into him, walking down one of the corridors towards the gardens... it was a tense meeting, especially at first. They had clearly both been heading somewhere, they were both clearly on some errand or other, Aragorn was supposed to be ensuring his belongings were all placed correctly to be taken out when he was about to leave, and Legolas... well... he had no idea, but he needed to talk to him.

"Legolas, a moment if you will..?" Aragorn had increased his pace a little, moving more swiftly down the corridor... "I need to speak with you."

It was clear from the almost reluctant way that the elf turned to look at the human that Legolas was less than willing to consent to the conversation, he did however pause, his friend had asked him to... and he was aware that Aragorn would soon be making his way, he would soon be leaving... "Of course my friend, though a moment alone it can be, I am required by Elrond..." A very small smile touched the elf's lips as he turned fully now to face his friend.

"A moment alone it shall be then..." The words were quiet as he spoke, and at once he stepped closer to his friend, reaching a hand out to catch one of the elf's hands. "I simply need to ask something... as you know I am to begin the journey to Gondor today, but before I took my leave I felt I need to speak with you... I have to know Legolas, is there something unsettling you? You have seemed a little disquieted to me. I could not in good faith leave this place not knowing what is between us." He gave the hand in his a gentle squeeze, holding the slender but strong fingers in his broader once for the moment. It was one of their touches, and even now it didn't feel uncomfortable.

Legolas however did not speak at once, he was clearly thinking, his brows had knit a little and his eyes had flicked to the side. He did not however make any move to pull away from the human who held onto his hand so carefully. When he finally did speak his words were rather quiet, but they were firm. "I am quite okay... I have had many thoughts on my mind, my dear friend, there are many changes coming to pass at this time, and each one must be considered." He paused for a moment. "There is nothing between us that will dampen this friendship, the distance was a result of my now negativity... you are to go away, you are to marry, and I know I to shall be leaving this place, and soon these very shores as well." He shifted his other hand up so that he could rest his fingers on the back of Aragorns hand. "I am merely unsettled by the knowledge that I will miss you and may only see you but a handful of times more..." It wasn't a lie. He wouldn't lie. He could see the relief in the humans face as he spoke and felt a warm rush of pleasure run through him. He had spoken as his friend wished to hear... that was all he could have wished for.

"I trust that you would tell me if there were something I could do, if there were anything amiss and I could assist you..." He let a smile touch his lips. "I will miss you as well, my friend, and I hope you will find the time to make at least one trip to Gondor... I can assure you I will always, always be delighted to see you..." He smiled again, the expression tinged with sorrow as he spoke, and for a moment he considered lifting a hand, just t touch his cheek, brush his chin... something, but he didn't, instead his simply shifted his thumb once, slowly over the back of his friends knuckles.

"Then I will do what I can, I am sure you will be occupied a great deal of the time, and it does at least to some degree depend on my own situation, but you have my word I will put some effort into the attempt..." His smile had softened, it was nice to have been asked for... he should not have invited himself, but now he would not feel... that he should stay away. That was a nice sensation... "I must move onwards now Aragorn... I must get to Elrond before he sends for me again." He tightened his fingers around Aragorn's hand once more before stepping away, pulling back, breaking the hold between their hands, pulling them apart... Aragorn almost felt like there was something closing between them, a door... "I will bid you farewell, Aragorn... maybe I will see you once more today, but you have my word, my honest word that I will do everything I may to see you in Gondor in future days... for now though, farewell." And with that he turned away, lifting a hand in a parting wave before he vanished around a bend in the corridor, his long, blonde hair flicking out behind him just a very little as he walked away, he was walking fairly fast.

That was the last sight of Legolas Aragorn saw before he left Gondor a mere hour or so later. He'd glanced back once as he rode away, Arwen at his side, and she had reached across and brushed her gentle hand over his arm. "You could go back to him..." But he could not. He knew what he was doing was right, he had faith in his convictions. Going to Gondor was the right thing.

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_And there we go. I can easily enough just leave this as it is, I wrote with the design to have it as a one shot, single chapter, stand alone thing, but as I wrote I realised I could also go somewhere with it if I decided to, so for now I'm going to leave the option open._

_What do you guys think? Let me know if you like it if you have the time~!_

_Lora_

_x_


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